I feel there’s a trend locally that has been on the rise. More people are getting married late, there’s plenty of more singles out there and of course low successful marriage rates.
No wonder our birth rates are declining.
Even the Malays, once we’re so ‘productive’ in producing troves of little tykes, we’re not spared of the increasing expense of raising a kid. GST increase, medical fees hike and such.
I would love to have plenty of children, five in fact. I bet a few of your ladies are squirming in pain in front of your monitor now eh. 5ive!! Hahaha yes.
Well to think of it, it’s not financially viable and a wise thing to do, but five have a nice ring to it eh. You can form one basketball team, or the child will never ever be lonely. No wonder I’m still single, I probably scared my date into hiding upon blurting that admission, wakaka.
I hate being single at times, though it has its plus points.
But I also fear commitment
I have friends who are still waiting for “Wow, marriage is so worth it feeling“. Maybe they got hitched too fast too soon. Marriage is an institution that you should really be certain of. So that’s why I’m quite particular about it, if I were to choose that path.
You’ve to give up your life and you’re bounded by obligations. Sometimes you don’t even have a choice. You have to work hard on your communication skills and change your behavior too. It’s all crap when they say “You cant change spots”. You have to, if you’re in a marriage.
Hmm now that I got that out of my system, I do like the feeling of companionship but I do not want to be binded by it too. Conflicting … YES!
I do know what I want, yet I have reservations. Do you have that sort of issues and feelings too?
maybe you are feeling the way you are feeling becos of the fact that you are not ready.
i’m guessing that when u find the one you wanna settle down with, it all feels right and that even if u have to be bounded by obligations and all that…it wun feel like it. it comes naturally. get the idea?
sacrifices are necessary in relationships i guess. it’s just a matter of how much sacrifices you are willing to make. if your partner is worth more than any sacrifice you’ll ever make, then it’s worth the change.
sometimes change can be a good thing. the ‘right’ one brings out the best in you, i feel.
you got it right i think on one issue, i do feel tak ready. still jobless and studying. not a fine attribute for someone who can take care of someone else
i’ve made sacrifices but sometimes it just not enough on the other party eyes
well the ‘right’ one … hmm hope i’ll know it when i should it should, keke. i can be blur at times
Bro,
bak kata satu lirik lagu… “Jangan tunggu lama², nanti lama².. dia diambil orang..”
:-)
in the 1st place siaper la yang akan diambil … date pun tak ada, keke
5 sounds like an okay number (: really! i want 4, though.
initially i wanted a whole soccer team’s worth of children. hahaha! big families are my kinda thing. more fun! or am i stuck in an old mentality, i don’t know.
and fear is a natural thing if you’ve eaten a bad apple more than once. gotta overcome that fear, no?
step out of the comfort zone, set your standards high and accept nothing below that. and to me, what’s important is that both must share the same values, that’s all.
so you go ahead and step outta your comfort zone and look for girls in the right places, okay?
take care!
4, sure? .. maybe you’re the only one? keke
nah i don’t have standards, i do have expectations. doesn’t everyone kan
i feel the gurls i’ve met to so doesn’t meet my expectations, thus i won’t be stepping out of my comfort zone anytime
any tips for the places to look? keke :-p
Amcam cari muslimah from mUIs nyer dating website ah!!! :-P
ooh wats the link?
Hehe.. sorry bro, the link dah kena tutup. Somehow banyak kena abuse (according to their IT administrator).
Wonder who want to abuse the dating website, unless its from the id1ots themselves. Hehehe
ler spoil market la these idoits
best place to look for: SCHOOL!!!
ada belambak dekat situ (: hehe!
yes i’m ogling at them daily .. maybe i scare them off
I’m still getting around the concept of a lifelong partnership, blood lines not withstanding. I mean, what if you wake up one day and suddenly get bored?
exactly .. once you’re ‘contracted’ to that kind on institution, there’s no turning back
i guess really make sure before you make the leap
I personally feel whether or not being single “is de best” is up to de individual. Just like people marry for all kinds of reasons, people who stay single do so for many reasons too. Sure, religion encourages us to get married etc but being solo isnt sinful either.
In addition, not evry solo-er is single by their own choice. Some lose a loved one to death, divorce, etc, while some others just really havent found The One, or their The Ones havent found them.
De issue of Marital Status may or may not crop up depending on situations. For eg, it’s very very common dis days (in S’pore) for gals AND guys 2 stay unmarried till they’re beyond 30 yrs old. Hence if u’re of age 25 & above, u may nt hv 2 worry too much abt still being solo cos “everyone else around that age aint married either”. But if u’re practically SURROUNDED by people close to u, eg family members, cousins, best frens etc who’re around de same age as u AND they’re ALREADY married (wth kids somemore), sooner or lateru u’ll feel de pressure whether u like it or not.
I turn 27 dis yr & though i have OLDER cousins who’re still single, i cant help worrying abt MYSELF, abt how i’m still single & when i’ll eventually get married (if i ever will at all). Personally i have nothing against ppl who choose 2 remain single bt i myself wud like 2 get married. I have frens of my age who’re ALSO single (though taken), & they say i’m nuts for worrying too much abt de issue. But dats cos not all of them understand my situation of constantly unavoidably being around or being surrounded by married ppl who’re only too eager to see me get married too.
true, being married or single is one’s own choice but i’m conflicted by it. i want the best of both world but that’s not possible. i can such a dumbass and selfish at times. keke
well 27 is not old, i’m 28 … looks like we’re being plagued by the same issue too. indirect pressure by those ard us who are hitched, haha
join SDU jer la
Hmm if i nt wrong SDU only for degreeholders and abv? I only gt diploma. Besides i tink de Malay guys there (i presume there’re nt many of them there in de 1st place) dont go for de type of gal i am. Dis days ‘educated’ guys dont go for mere tudung gals like me, unless i’m dropdead gorgeous lah, wic i’m NOT.
It’s nt that i’m condemning other guys, it’s just that i have certain ‘criteria’. Since i have diploma, wud b nice to get someone wth AT LEAST de same qualificatn. I’ve met lots of ‘less educated’ guys previously, & they dont leave a good impression. Some even want 2 ‘live off’ me, just cos they know i’m (slightly) higher than them in educ level. There’re those ‘humble’ ones too–de type maybe SOME parents may like–cos they’re like, along de lines of ‘rajin beribadah’. Tapi rajin ibadah kalau hidup kais pagi makan pagi, kais malam makan malam, & bila nak keluarkan duit aja macam terberak terkentut buat apa?
But guess it’s my unlucky luck lah hor… well..gotta kip waiting, searching and hoping…
yes degree only. kinda stupid right. gahmen thinks degree holder couple makes better clever babies, haiz
nothing wrong with tudung gurls
yea having the same qualification does eases the tension. there was once a grad girl i know whos dating a diploma guy. the guy feel abit inferior and always a issue with them
hope you find yours soon :-)
Actually, from where the angle is being looked at, it looks more like budak degree susah nak find companion I think…
Hence they need to form a union to assist further.
Tapi I think there are too many female having degrees that most local men are finding it a tad too challenging, to propose because the future PIL will ask for exorbitant amount of $$$ to give their daughter to the highest bidder :-)
thats the thing, the more educated, the higher the bid and the lesser of the guy, will pening kepala
Hi Sha,
I’m in a relationship but sometimes I feel bounded. There is a price to pay. A commitment to honor. This is part and parcel of a relationship.
Sometimes I feel like being single, but in all honesty, you will eventually want to spend your rest of your life with your soul mate.
Hope you are still doing fine!
Cheers,
Jag
for me i commit if i truly feel i should. i think you just know right
yeah companionship feeling is the best feeling in the world
i’m ok. hope your business venture is doing well
MArriage can be a scary to think about at times. The responsibilities, the sacrifices you have to make and having to give and take.
My grandma decided I should be having 6 kids! Then I settled for four when the time comes. If there are boys, I will have them to take rugby! Wahahah
keke yeah boys are damn rough and u’re in for a tough time. unless they’re mommys boy! that you need to lembut sikit, keke
err i think 6 abit too many? i think ur grandma really set a high standard for ya
well hmm..
true ah, i’m much like you also. One who wants some company but am afraid of commitments.
So totally understand that state of “liking someone but am i able to be committed” kinda thoughts.
haiz same sampan lah kita kita
sha, perhaps u list down wot r e qualities u luk 4 in agal, mayb somwhere out there gt “e RIGHT one” reads it n gets in contact wit u..
who knws kn???
err haha dun wan la. later ppl discriminate me of my choices
for me to know and the ladies to find out :-p
y nt, im CURIOUS…
maner tahu i cn help u find..
i gt a cple of POTENTIAL GIRL frens yg MASIH single tau!!!!
takper la … i think now i wld rather focus on my life n career now
gurls talk later
as 4 me, tis issue isnt of impt now
its in number 4 or 5
im wan to commit more on my career, my physical outlook n oso attainment of own happiness.
besides, i wil start to worry when im 29, 30 likdat wic is many more yrs to come….
i tnk it got to do wit “Shehnaz” sayin “if you’ve eaten a bad apple more than once”, hence e choice i made…
focus on career is impt but at the same time mata bukak besar2.
maner tahu ada potential prince charming :-)
aik!!!! mcm prmoting ureslf aje…
heheheh :P
Hmm.. Kalo da bersedia.. Juz tie the knot. Marriage is nt sumting small.. Tkmo nari kawin, bsok cerai.. Hahha.. Go out dating la bro.. Get to know more girls.. Yeah.. =)
you make it sounds so easy, keke
ada package for me to look over tak :-p
Takder cuba tanya parents sendiri.. confirm semua nak tolong cari kan untuk anak kesayangan :-)
i think that will be my last resort .. how u find urs?
How I find mine eh ? Well, it will take 1 entry to blog about that. But I think I will relate it on another day.
In summary, friend intro friend, got hook, go out, and finally got married.
hey bro, my principal, mr wong in sec sch constantly drilled this to our heads :
“do the right thing, at the right time and at the right place”
so perhaps, when the right girl come (with most of the qualities you seek), at the right time (when u’re ready to take care of someone else) – then you better get your heart in the right place ;)
and personally, i think it’s ok to say that u want 5 kids… just dun be too honest and say you’d need 4 wives to help u achieve it :P
good luck !
aahh well how do we know it will be the right time & place. i of course always do the right things, keke but the right gurl belum lagi munjul
ish dahsyat! 4 wives … you ali baba ker?
5!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
waduh…………………….
lima!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
mati gue…………………..
boleh pengsan………………..
5 jer per
5x the pain jer
this post and the thread makes me feel like one of the luckiest girls ever….all praises to Allah i found Aidil, my bestfriend, soulmate, partner.
i pray you find your ideal partner someday soon, Uncle Sha. it seems this topic of companionship seems to be weighing a little more on your mind these days….bio clock ticking away, kot (omg, did i just use a M’sian slang? hahaha. )
=)