Of Spams and Utter Cuteness

I always look forward to Thursdays, partly cause I will start my day by reading Urban and that pretty much gears up my day. Ouh point of information, Urban is found in Thursday’s issues of The Straits Times and is sort of like the cheapest alternative for your weekly dose of lifestyle news.

For those who are having some rough times these few days, no matter if it’s the time of the month again or the quarrel with the loved ones or just plain PMS-ey, hope that picture brightens up your day, well at least for a minute I hope.

Alot of stuffs have been like just irritating the crap out of me.

I don’t really use the Junk Mail filter or Spam filter whatever for my electronic mail. I just love my mailbox the way it is au naturale so I’m constantly a victim to spammers whatnots. That is why some of my friends who checked my MSN will see like 100 plus mails unread.

Sometimes I can’t be bothered to do housekeeping since these email companies are expanding their storage capacity anyway, it’s like whether or not the spams keep coming in, I will still have sufficient space for my important mails. Hah.

And I’ve been getting alot of these “You are the next of kin to this millionaire who just got killed and so you’re gonna be rich instantly dude!”. An example?

Dear friend.

Good Day, I am ____, Senior Credit Officer of BANK OF AFRICA BURKINA FASO.Here is a 100% concealed and mutually profitable business proposal for you. After the United States and Iraqi war, our client ______ who was the blah3 in Iraq and also business man made a numbered fixed deposit for 12 calendar months, with a value of blah3 only in my branch.

Upon maturity several notices were sent to him, even in the first quater of this year.Again another notification was sent and still no response came from him. We later found out that he has been assasinated in Baghdad. After further investigation it was also discovered that ___ did not declare any next of kin in his official papers including the paper work of his bank deposit.

And he also confided in me the last time he was at my office that no one except me knew of his deposit in my bank. So, blah3 is still lying in my bank and no one will ever come forward to claim it. Against this backdrop, my suggestion to you is that I will like you as a neutral person to stand in as the next of kin to ___ so that you will be able to receive his funds with my aid as the insider.
I wait your respond

Kind Regards, Mr. Blardy Bla Bla Bla

Gawd, and it has not been like once, but like umpteen times! Wow, like how many big fuckens have been killed? And all looking for me? Writing their I-wait-your-respond type of Engrish?

And the bestest irritating crap ever that I ouh-so-absolutely love;

And how do you reply that?

And to top it all of, set your background picture to be a repetitive of this.

How about that biyarches! Now who have the most bling bling ever in the world! And that shows how superior I am! aLL hAiL PwrinCe HaK -xoxo- wiB huGs anD kiSseS mUacKsHzZz~~

Hmm, I think I’m going to be hunted down by the Association of Twits Unite Against The Haters of Twits (,.;’`^~aTuA-hOt~^`’:., in short) real bad. But heck,

And you know why? It’s because I am

Ouh, are your eyes sore now? Well if it is, I have accomplished my mission of blinding all of you with the gargantuan amount of bling blings I have.

Knock knock? Can you wake your bloody idea up? It’s fuckenly irritating do you know that?! Or maybe I’ve studied Design for User Interaction and Design Aesthetics so much so that it has changed my view? I doubt so, cause even others would have to agree that it’s blinding them, for twits sake!

I recently read up a teenage lifestyle magazine (and hell no, it wasn’t mine). The information inside are all so, amusing. I love the penpal section where it will go something like this:

A LovEaBLe cUtE gErz herE tRyinG 2 fiNd dA riGht typA gUy 2 B mOi fRieNdS dE. aNiTinG mSg mE at !^@%#*.
-GeRgeRLcutes

(And if you really can’t comprehend, she was trying to write “A lovable cute girl here trying to find the right kind of guys to be my friend. Do leave me a message at ….)

Yes, what have the world become. And if you guys are bored at home or at work, do pick up Teens or Teenage. Believe me, you’ll get hooked.

Till then, have an enjoyable Thursday!

GAWD, I should stop.

Editor’s Note from Uncle Sha: Visit Haksmic blog here