Hehehe, as a disclaimer the below ain’t my jokes, but it does gave me a few chuckles. Sing-chia-po-reans I’m sure will know what I mean. More jokes can be found here and here.
Ho Ching was reading a nursery story to her children when she came across a word she didn’t know. So she turned to her husband Prime Minister Brigadier General Lee Hsien Loong, “Honey, what’s ‘general-lie-zei-shun’ mean?” Her husband replied: “It’s when you get promoted from Cadet to General in an unbelievably short time.”
On Einstein’s Theory of Relativity:
LKY’s brother was a Director of HPL who helped him and Lee Hsien Loong buy expensive properties at ‘special discounts’;
his wife’s brother was Permanent Secretary of Health;
his two sons are Brigadier Generals — Lee Hsien Loong is First Deputy Prime Minister;
Lee Hsien Yang is CEO of Singapore Telecom;
his sister was a Director of Singapore Tourist Promotion Board;
Ho Ching is CEO of Singapore Technologies and future MP and Minister;
and all these are only occasionally briefly mentioned in the press — when you factor in the rest of the in-laws, cousins, uncles, aunts, nephews and nieces, it doesn’t take an Einstein to figure out that ‘relativity’ is a major ruling principle of the Singapore universe…
On How Einstein’s Theory can be applied in ST and TCS: Truth is relative. It can be stretched by Space and Time.
When God gave Prime Minister Goh Chok Tong two ears, he knew that Goh will have to use one ear exclusively to listen to Senior Minister Lee Kuan Yew; and the other for Deputy Prime Minister Brigadier-General Lee Hsien Loong. (An old joke, positions may change)
As with Sheares Hall and Yusof Hall, NUS has just named one of its halls after former president Devan Nair.
It’s called Alco Hall.
Why did the Singaporean chicken cross the road?
Tang Liang Hong: The chicken crossed the road because it was running for its life from a gang of vultures!
Philip Yeo: The chickens have a MORAL responsibility to cross the road. If they don’t, we’ll name them in the newspapers.
Lee Kuan Yew: Every chicken should be given the opportunity to realise its full potential to cross the road. The brightest chickens should lead.
Richard Hu: DON’T PANIC. We’ll monitor the situation and start worrying if the chickens get run down while crossing the road.
Admiral Teo Chee Hean: We have put in the necessary infrastructure and will teach the chickens to think for themselves so that they cross the road in the most effective way.
Mah Bow Tan: The chickens must pay before they use the roads. Preferably, they should buy a LTC (License To Cross) for each trip.
BG George Yeo: In this age of information and technology, it is inevitable that the chickens get to cross the road.
Once upon a time, the Singapore media industry was free to report just about anything. That is why they were called RTS, as the reporters were free to Roam The Street and Report True Stories.
However, under the leadership of Mr. LEE (Loves Editing Everything), RTS became SBC (Script By Censorship). Soon, most of the reporters quit while those who stayed behind had to work under Si Bay Chum conditions.
Since these reporters could not roam the streets or report true stories, they had to fabricate Si Beh Choon (‘choon’ is Cantonese for ‘stupid’) stories that nobody wants to know.
Only the students from NUS (Nothing Up Stair) thought the reports were Si Beh Cheem.
Then SBC started to employ these students as reporters. As there was nothing that could be freely reported, SBC changed its name to TCS (Totally Censored Station) and become a Talk Cock Station only.
Hopefully, TCS will not change its name again to NCS (No Choice Station).
